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double digits. - rancidpunks

May. 12th, 2005 11:18 pm double digits.

i thought when i hit double digits..id be happy..i thought maybe then id have been able to prove to myself that i do have control..and that i am beautiful..
who was i kidding.
ive gotten past the 100lb platform that ive been sitting at for far too long..it now reads 98lbs. i still think i look the same as i did when i was at 115. but i dont feel any better. yes im pretty impressed with myself that ive accually made it to here..that i didnt fuck up horribly. but im not satisfied. not at all..i suppose this will never end..im now looking to hit 90lbs..ill move slow..first work to get to 95..and so on..till im soo perfect that i can dissapear. how nice that would be.

Current Mood: discontentdiscontent

2 comments - Leave a comment Share Next Entry


Date:April 30th, 2008 06:59 pm (UTC)
exactaly i wrote this in 2005...and the more things change the more they stay the same. i never went back over 100lbs from this point untill dec this year, and here i am at this 100 platform again begging to drop that last digit.