Last night he says " I wish he would just tell her that he wants her. I think she's the one that's forcing the just friends thing and that he wants something more..He's GOT TO TELL HER. I was in that situation once too with that other girl. She forced the just friends thing. He should really tell her." I sat back..Eyes closed..Wondering why he felt so strongly about him telling her..Then I thought wow. He probably really regrets not telling the girl he was speaking of that he wanted her. Does he still think about her a lot? Am I not good enough...Am I just the one by his side because the one he really wanted..He couldn't have? then guess who we run into! god really does have a sick sense of humor. she's right there..And I thought..That's odd ..His expression..Was one of happiness. I sat..Silently observing, watching his face light up. how come I don't get that kind of reaction? I wanted nothing more that to run...And hide..And cry.. sometimes I'm so emo. It probably had something to do with the state I was in at that particular time. obligation. Maybe that's all it comes down to now. time.effort and feelings..There all here.maybe he's staying out of obligation maybe he thinks I can't take care of myself that I need him and that he would feel bad leaving. So he stays. Am I keeping him against his will? Am I pushing things unto him that he's not really willing to have? am I just a burden? unworthiness. Why is that a feeling that never ceases to exist within me? Why is it so hard for me to make him happy or feel like I make him happy. Why cant I ever believe it when someone says they love me.. perhaps because I still haven't learned to love me. And if I can't love me how could I expect someone else to. I'm probably just crazy though..That's probably all it is..That's all it ever is. will this love affair with self-worth ever be over?